Time to make the doughnuts. Or is it donuts?

Rewind back to last Wednesday, a week from today.

I called Krispy Kreme (the company with the great spelling and employees that match their mantra) to order a few doughnuts. I needed 800 doughnuts. Yes folks, 800. I figured I'd better call in advance and let them know. The person that answered the phone asked me to hold for a manager once she was sure I wasn't kidding around and I spoke with the manager of the day whomever that was. He assured me I would be able to pick up the doughnuts on Tuesday morning at 6 AM sharp. I accepted his offer of goods and services and the deal was made.

I showed up at Krispy Kreme at 5:15 AM to find they don't even open their doors until 6. I'm not in Podunk here, this is a city of 100,000+ with a county (which is basically the city plus suburbs) of 200,000+. Would it not make sense for a doughnut shop to open early? In their defense they were open until 11 PM on some nights because, you know, doughnuts are now a great after supper treat. Yeah, that's it.

All tangents aside, I backed into the parking spot in front of the door, opened up the back of the jeep and sat there and stared into the front window for 45 minutes while the employees went on with their business of "Time to make the doughnuts" (which I know is the competitor's slogan ... the BETTER competitor I might add) Oh wait, this was all tangents aside. Well there goes that theory.

Anyway they knew I was there. I was obviously going to be packing a jeep full of doughnuts since they could see me with no back seat (remember I was backed in and the back was completely open) and everything prepared to stuff a lot of doughnuts in there. Nobody came out to question me so I assumed they knew I was the guy picking up a metric assload of doughnuts. (A metric assload is exactly the same as an Imperial assload only you move the decimal to the right 4 times and then move the decimal one time to the left.)

The doors opened promptly at 6 as promised and I was the first to the counter. I told them who I was and what I wanted. The counter person went into the doughnut factory part that was behind the magic glass wall and looked at the rolling carts of doughnuts. After a few minutes she came back and asked what company it was for and my name again. Giving her the information I began to have a sinking feeling. A minute or two later she arrived without any doughnuts and simply said, "The manager will be right out."

To which I responded, "I don't have any doughnuts, do I?"

She mumbled something.

I had 400 people expecting doughnuts and that this point in the game I was hosed. No doughnut factory in town could help me and I knew it. While I was extremely upset I also realized that no matter what I said or did I would not walk out of there with any doughnuts. The manager of the day came to speak with me and informed me that it seemed nobody had written down the order. She advised me to call later and speak with the General Manager of the day and perhaps she would give me a price break.

In a self indulgent moment I blurted, "I don't want a price break, I want someone to come explain to 400 people why they don't have doughnuts." I shouldn't have said this. The counter person didn't have anything to do with the mess up and neither did the manager of the morning.

Upon my arrival to work I had quite a few people to deal with, explaining the situation and apologizing for having them come in early to help pass out what wasn't there, and I ended up getting more and more infuriated about the mess up. I decided to wait until later in the day to call back and speak with the General Manager of the day because I did not want to take out my ire on anyone in particular.

I finally calmed down and made the call. I explained the situation and the woman was not exactly "cold" towards me but it was very close. I was trying to maintain professionalism so I simply said something to the effect of, "I will be buying about 800 doughnuts tomorrow. Will I be buying them from your business or do I need to look for other alternatives?" She warmed right up to me and actually had them ready and waiting when I got there.

In other news, it is my thought that I could easily fit about 2,500 to 3,000 doughnuts in a 2006 Jeep Wrangler Unlimited that has the rear seat removed. This picture shows 804 doughnuts somewhat neatly stacked and I think I could have easily tripled the size of the stacks plus put more on the wheel wells and in the passenger seat.

Sorry the picture is so dark, it was like early and stuff. And my camera isn't all pro or anything. But at least I gots me some dougnuts.

Now how ironic is it that I don't eat doughnuts?

The yellow thing on the right is an extension cord (120v) because I have a manly jeep with 120V AC power in it. And 4 Wheel drive! And a miniature jeep on the dash! With Robin driving! Oh yeah, And a metric assload of doughnuts!