This blog has nothing to do with slogans. What would the three word slogan be for that? No Slogan Blog.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Maruchan Chicken flavor JumBowl Jumbo Size Ramen Noodle Soup

Being a bit of a Ramen connoisseur (as I have to be to maintain my position on not eating rat meat) I thought I'd offer up my professional opinion of a new product that the wife has graced me with, the Maruchan Chicken flavor JumBowl Jumbo Size Ramen Noodle Soup.

As with most of these products it says not to microwave it. I hastily disregard such notices on all occassions. I never seem to have the appropriate vessel to boil water in and teapots are so passé. I am not a microwave engineer so I can only speak for myself. My bowls don't explode, implode, or assplode.

The size of this bowl is listed as "Jumbo" which I like. 3.6 dry ounces (3.6-43 grams) is the listed weight but it comes in a nice big foam bowl. When I broke into the top I found wide noodles (well, wider than say a standard ramen -- don't expect momma mia's home made pasta folks,) the chicken flavor packet ( chicken dust, ) and the goody bag (also known as the dehyrdated, partially rehodginated foam in the shape of vegetebles you might recognize.) Instructions listed to combine all items (making me wonder why they weren't combined in the freeze drying/packing process but hey, what do I know,) add the boiling water, then wait. I amended the instructions to include cold water and 4 minutes in a microwave but your mileage may vary.

After cooking the meal I didn't get that heady aroma that I do with my favorite cup of soup type ramen but I continued on where I think few have ever been. I stirred well since the chicken dust was still floating atop the bowl and allowed it to steep for a few minutes.

The flavor was well rounded without being too overpowering and it filled a hole in my belly. There was very litte about it that I didn't like other than the inclusion of the mushrooms in the foam food packet but even those were sufficiently foamy enough to not taste too terrible. The broth amount was just right for the amount of noodles and the noodles themselves could be a contender for best ramen noodle noodles I've ever had. The only mystery to me is the cost. As I mentioned this was purchased for me and not by me. Therefore I can only say this is worth about twice as much as a cup of noodles type of ramen noodles goes for but I can't say what it really did go for.

One more day without rat meat. Times are good folks, times are good.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Este carne es de rata.

Why is it, I have been wondering as of late, that rats are bad but squirrels and chipmunks are good? They are all rodents. All are wild and not typically used as pets (I know, I know, some FREAKS have rats as pets. We'll disregard the freaks.)

Now I don't think anyone reading this right now would openly admit to being agreeable to the idea of eating a rat. John Spartan has tried rat and even though he wasn't fully aware of what it was... he seemed to be ok with it. I don't know if he would have eaten it if he had been aware it had been "de rata" or he might not have partaken so quickly. Hard to say. On the other hand, I have personally eaten squirrel, and I know a lot of other people have too, according to a quick recipe search on google.

a. It does taste like chicken (the flavorless meat)
and
b. Yes, I was in West Virginia at the time.

Other ROUSS' I have consumed in my lifetime include the industrious groundhog.

a. It does taste like chicken (the flavorless meat)
and
b. Yes, I was in West Virginia at the time.

But the thing I don't understand is that our public areas are filled with these rodents. Get one or two of their cousins in a dark subway and all of a sudden it is a horror flick. What gives? Either way, I don't think I'll be eating rats unless things get really lean around here.

Friday, September 22, 2006

Pawn shop ponderings

Recently I came to the realization that for the first time in 10 years I need a cassette player. Not a walkman or anything, but an old school, rca output, standard cassette player. It took me a few days before I realized I already own one but it is in storage about 250 miles away. Not feeling it was worth a dedicated trip I figured I'd stop into a couple pawn shops today to pick one up.

As with anything I decided on my maximum price for what this item was worth to me before I even walked in to see what they had. My number of the day was $35. It seemed like a reasonable request to me. It's not like they even make cassettes anymore, do they?

The first pawn shop I went into I browsed and left without saying a word. My thoughts were stuck. All I could think was, "What kind of crack are these people smoking?" They were asking $80 for a dirty, low quality unit that had a craptacular tag on it stating the price and the words, "Studio quality." I don't mean to knock on any company's niche in life but I'm pretty sure Fisher never made any studio quality anything. The only studio quality cassette players that come to my mind are the Nakamichi Dragon (which I'd consider offering my left nut for) or one of the upscale Marantz or Tascam models. Fisher isn't even in the top 25 as far as I'm concerned, at least not as far as "studio quality" goes. The pawn shop owner seemed to have a differing opinion.

Pawn shop #2 brought a bevy of items with no price tags. Great, I was going to have to speak. Ok, I'm now down to $30 for the inconvenience. They had 2 double cassette decks of dubious quality stacked with a tuner on top. The shopkeep finally finished taking the payment on account or whatever was going on which didn't involve any transacting of goods as far as I could tell and I inquired about the cassette player. I wasn't specific about which one because frankly my dear, I didn't give a damn. I recall one was an Onkyo but I forget the other, maybe a Pioneer or something similar. Both decent for home usage and either would suit my needs.

"Oh, all of those [indicating the stack] come as a set."

"oh, alright."


Then shopkeep went back to dealing with the customers that wanted one of everything and wanted everything for a dollar (no lie, I swear.)

I was looking around for alternatives and alas there were none. Then it hit me. Why would you package two dual deck cassette recorders together, along with a tuner and no amp? Just for fun I asked how much the "set" was. Shopkeep went to moving bicycles to get a gander at the sticker price when it was found that they weren't a set. The top deck, I think it was the Onkyo, had a sticker of $100. She said $100 and it just came out, I didn't have any control.

I can buy a new one for that.

Well if you pay in cash you get a good discount.

(what am I going to do, put it on layaway and make payments? -- not said but thought)
How much of a discount?

$75, tax included.

No thanks, I'll just buy new.


I'd like to be able to talk to pawn shop shoppers but alas the internet is not necessarily the best medium to do so. Still, if you happen to know one, let them know that I said they are getting robbed. I found one online, brand new, with warranty, for $89.99.

Still, I think I'll just go get mine.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

“I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.” --Steven Wright

I have a confession to make. My wife has a problem. I didn't realize it when we started dating even though the signs were present. It is a complex problem and I think I am still learning and understanding it.

I'll get straight to the goods (or the bads.)


My wife will purchase anything with the word Monopoly on it. Except the game itself. It's the worst when McSalty's has their Monopoly game (that we have yet to win anything of value on) because for those two and a half weeks the game runs all we eat is McSalty's. Everything has to come in the MegaLargeHugeFatAss size because you get the extra game pieces that way.

Now about the game itself, as in the board game. She doesn't like it. She will play it but she's one of those players that is forgiving and will loan money to other players out of the goodness of her heart. I know how to play monopoly and I know how to play to win. I don't play any other way. When I was young I played by the "I'll loan you enough to get you back around to go again" but I realized that was why Monopoly took 4 hours to complete a game. It's a long game if you aren't playing to win. That's why people don't like to play it. So regardless of your rules of choice, the way to win is to buy everything you can at any cost and eventually you may or may not end up victorious.

I think that's her plan. Buy up all the game pieces, monopoly trinkets, and memoribilia and one day she will be teh winnar!

Other than that she's the perfect wife, I promise. :)