Speed Beef

True story. Grab a cigar and a cognac and I'll tell you what yankee hillbillies are like.

My grandmother was thrifty to say the least. She also worked several jobs and was always on the run. During this time we lived in Northern PA within the boundaries of the Allegheny national forest. Yes folks, we had deer. Lots of em. If you WANTED a deer you could get one any time day or night. If you DIDN'T want deer you could get one any time day or night.

One night grandma got home from one of her jobs and she let us know that she had a deer in the car. She explained that she had hit it and decided to keep it. (Grandma drove a ford escort by the way.. no, not a wagon.) Well it kind of dawned on me that the car most likely only knocked the deer out. Let me take a journey into that story before we jump back in line with this one.

Let's just say there was a deer. And let's say that somebody's parents thought this deer was dead. I mean, you know, just for supposition's sake. Weeeellll, while having said deer in the trunk of the car, driving down the main street of the town we lived near, the deer decided it wasn't dead anymore and began attempting to extricate himself from the vehicle. Did I mention it wasn't deer season? Anyway, the deer kicked out both tail lights and the parents made it out of town without attracting the notice of the game warden or the police but had to do some repairs on the car and here's my question... How would YOU open the trunk of that car?

Anyway so I'm wondering how she knew this thing was dead. She had bludgeoned it with the tire iron, a 4 way jobber. Yup, that's my grandmother. She kept it and had it butchered and whatnot. She seemed to have a 'butcher on the sly' but I don't know who he was or where he was. I'm sure it was better this way.

As time went on it seemed that this happened on a more and more regular basis. She would get her car fixed and then when she maybe hit one on accident she'd kind of go on a spree and she'd be bringing home one a week until she would get her car fixed and then there'd be a gap between killings... err, I mean accidents.

We came to calling this "Speed Beef." We still do, all of us grandchildren.

Do I need to mention I have eaten a lot of "venison"?