If I didn't like meat so much I could be a vegetarian

Bicycles haven't radically changed in like a hundred years or something. Sure, you can get them with Space Shuttle panel equipped frames and magic pixie dust holding the cranks together...

1. If you're not in the Tour de France weight should not matter.
2. Certainly they have the jigs and welders hooked up right by now. Lower the damned prices.
3. Sweat is good, quit wearing the $100 shirts that make you look like a maroon.
4. Take the headphones off so you can hear the redneck truck that's about to hit you.
5. Quit trying to peddle pixie dust to increase the price of your bikes.
6. The cost of your bike says nothing about your ability.