Girlfriend...

There is this employee at work, we'll call her girlfriend. She is by no means my girlfriend. She spends at least as much time per day on personal calls as she does working. She is currently on the phone with her daughter. I missed most of the conversation until she raised her voice saying, "If you lie to me again I'll drive all the way to Byromville just to spank your ass!"

This person spends about 25% of her personal phone call time fighting with someone or another.

...and people think I'm high strung.