Austin city Limits

You Are Austin

A little bit country, a little bit rock and roll. You're totally weird and very proud of it. Artistic and freaky, you still seem to fit in... in your own strange way. Famous Austin residents: Lance Armstrong, Sandra Bullock, Andy Roddick

What American City Are You?

Sodium Assholathol

What possible element could make an entire group of people bad drivers? There is a factory that I pass every day, some sort of sugar manufacturer or packaging plant. The drivers that enter that factory are very likely the worst group of drivers I have ever encountered. Many of the people I work with agree: Something is wrong with those people. This morning I watched a car pass another car not only in a no passing zone but going up a hill on a blind bridge. I can think of no worse place to pass. This is within the city limits by the way, directly across from the Port authority. Within a mile both vehicles pulled into the sugar factory. Both ended up getting stopped up at the entrance by one of the (also moronic) tractor trailer drivers that was entering the facility.

I don't have any idea what goes into the manufacture, packaging, or processing of sugar but I'm sure it has affected the brains of everyone that works there. Maybe they use sodium assholathol or something.

Chummin' for Crappie

So I have this son. He's 9 months old now. He's quite a treat, learning his way around the world and all. Sometimes "quite a treat" means, "aww how cute!" and other times it is more like a non-healthy eye twitch that is hiding rage. You know. All that good fatherly stuff. He's mobile now, able to get from room to room quite quickly and stealth is one of his superpowers. Oddly it seems the more rum & cokes I have the more stealthy he becomes. Perhaps he is putting kryptonite in my rum. Or my coke. Or maybe he dips the straws in liquid kryptonite. Regardless.

He loves water. No big surprise, we live on a small patch of land surrounded by water. Bathtime is the best time. Good things come in liquid packages and all that stuff. His problem is his height. He's only a foot and a half, maybe pushing two feet tall, so he isn't able to reach most of the good water areas. He's just about tall enough to get into the bathtub by himself but considering we don't keep it filled with liquid he doesn't tend to gravitate that way. The sinks are all far out of his reach but he does love ol Dad to hold him up there to do some hand and arm washing after he hits his main waterhole.

I call this Chummin' for Crappie^™. The wife refers to it as "fishing" and sometimes "freshwater fishing." I'm trying to think of more euphemisms since mine is getting smelly, like an old fish. Perhaps something along the lines of "Angling the White Perch (pun intended)^™."

What Would Dave Do

For whatever reason I decided I wanted some chili from Wendy's today. I've always enjoyed it even though it isn't spicy and I do like my chili spicy. Anyway, I opted to run up to Wendy's and grab some. Being the amateur scientist that I am and having an inquisitive mind I decided to get both sizes, the large and the small. To let the truth be told I decided to get two large and one small to satiate my never ending desire to feed the tapeworms.

2 Lg Chili $3.78 (1.89 each)
1 Sm Chili $.99
Subtotal $4.77
Tax $.29
Drive-Thru total $5.06

Now my goal in getting both sizes is to see which is the better deal. Which size has the lowest cost per ounce?

I started by doing some physical measurements of the containers.
Large: 4" tall, 3 3/4" wide at the top, and 3" wide at the base.
Small: 3 3/8" tall, 3 9/16" wide at the top, and 2 7/8" wide at the base.

Once I picked them up to measure the distance between the bottom of the cup and the bottom of the product I noticed they are both listed with their volume capacity, which is what I was after to begin with so I quit measuring.

The large Wendy's chili is 16 ounces.
The small Wendy's chili is 12 ounces.

$1.89 / 16 ounces = $0.118125 per ounce
$0.99 / 12 ounces = $0.0825 per ounce

8.25¢ per ounce is considerably better than 11.8¢ per ounce so the winner is the small Wendy's chili.

How many small chilis will you need to feed the family and how much will it cost?

2 quarts chili = 5.33 small chilis (we'll call it 6) = $5.94 + tax, title, and transfer.
1 gallon chili = 10.66 small chilis (we'll call it 11) = $10.89 + tax, title, and transfer.
5 gallons chili = 53.33 small chilis (we'll call it 54) = $53.46 + tax, title, and transfer. (You might want to call ahead for this one.)

And how does that compare to large chilis?

2 quarts chili = 4 large chilis (we'll call it 4) = $7.56 + tax, title, and transfer.
1 gallon chili = 8 large chilis (we'll call it 8) = $15.12 + tax, title, and transfer.
5 gallons chili = 40 large chilis (we'll call it 40) = $75.60 + tax, title, and transfer. (You might want to call ahead for this one.)

2 small chilis costs 9¢ more than one large, and you receive 24 ounces instead of 16. This works out well for those of us that are tapeworm infested.

Seen at the mall today

Things I have seen at the mall: escalator is out of order. They are roping it off. I asked the man about it: isn't it just stairs now?

Yup.

He kept roping it off. God forbid we'd have to walk. Might as well declare it unusable.