Steam support doesn't work, an example.

Steam, in case you aren't familiar with it, is a content delivery network for games.  It's actually quite a great service.  You buy a game and then you can log into steam from any computer, download the game, and play it.  It's as convenient as things get in the gaming world.  I really do love it.  I can buy games for my family and friends and send them as gifts immediately or on my own schedule.  I can buy games for myself and download them right then and start playing. They have great sales.  In short, I love it.


but...

Steam support is beyond useless.  It is infuriating.  It is as bad, or worse, than attempting to explain a problem to someone who doesn't speak your language.  Steam support is broken.


I did have a time when I swore I'd never buy another game through steam.  It was because of their support.  My son came to work with me one day and I decided to let him use the new computer we got at work to play some steam games on.  The client, the thing that you use to run all of the games, would not install on the computer.  I went to their web page and started the support request procedure.  I explained that I was unable to install the client on the computer.  Their response was that I needed to provide them with a picture of me holding the game box with the game key clearly visible.  Again, if you aren't familiar with the steam product, there is no game box or key for the client.  The client is free and it allows you to not only play the games you've purchased but to purchase more games.  In the end the issue was never resolved and I swore to never buy another game from steam again.  I caved and went back to steam after a couple of years.  The convenience of the service was too much for me to pass up.

History aside, let's fast forward to this past Friday.  I decided to purchase some games for my two sons.  I wanted them to have some of the games from my own youth so I purchased two copies each of Sonic the Hedgehog and a collection of games called The Sega Collection.  I purchased each game individually and used their service to send them directly through steam.  (Steam has a feature that allows chat as well as notifications of updates and gifts that have been sent to you.)  Since the kids live in the same household as I do I told them to check their steam client for anything new.  They checked and saw no gift notification.  I waited.  I figured the steam servers were busy or something so no big deal.  I did get the emails from steam indicating that the purchases were charged to my credit card and each email indicated which game was purchased and who was to get it.

Saturday comes and they still don't see the gifts.  I took care of it and ran into several problems along the way.  I did finally get all of the games installed and running but since this had been an especially bad transaction I decided to let steam know of the issues I had with the service and inquire about how I could make the game purchases easier on all of us in the future.  I created a support ticket.

1 Message by you on Sat, 24th Sep 2011 6:49 am
Yesterday I purchased 4 games from the steam store, all gifts. It was two copies of Sonic the hedgehog and two copies of the Sega collector's edition. All were sent to my sons as gifts. First of all, neither of my sons received a steam notification that they had a game waiting even though they were sent directly through steam. Finally I went to their manage gifts and found them in each of their accounts. I also found that both copies of sonic were sent to {redacted - youngest son}'s account, my youngest son, when in the email it says there is one there for each of them, not both for the same account.
* Thank you for your recent gift purchase on Steam. Your gift has been sent to {redacted - oldest son}. Confirmation Number {redacted}
* Thank you for your recent gift purchase on Steam. Your gift has been sent to {redacted - youngest son). Confirmation Number {redacted}
I had to resend the one intended for {redacted - oldest son} after the fact. Why this happened is beyond me and if this had been for somebody outside of my household that might have already redeemed it, I wouldn't have had the opportunity to fix this.

The other issue with this gift purchase is that with the install of all 4 games I received the following message for each install:

"Gift activation failure

Invalid Gift

the gift you have attempted to redeem is no longer valid. This gift may have already been used by someone else, it may have expired, or it may have been revoked by the sender."


All of the games I have purchased have now been installed and tested and everything works. My question is: why did nothing go right with these purchases and installs and is there anything I can do for the next time to make gift purchasing any more efficient?

also, when I tried to attach an image of the error it told me "There were the following errors. Please make the necessary changes and resubmit.

The attachment is not a valid file type.

"


You might want to think about putting what file types are valid so I might know before trying to attach/upload it.

    steamInvalidGift.JPG - View Image (File Size : 174.2 KB)

Now it seems to me I laid out the problems that I had very clearly and explained everything to the best of my ability.  I didn't, as is my usual nature, get hot-headed about it.  They replied.

2 Message by Support Tech {redacted - support personnel's name} on Sun, 25th Sep 2011 1:13 pm
Hello John,

Thank you for contacting Steam Support.

Please follow the link below for information:

Title: Steam Purchase Gifts and Guest Passes
Link: http://support.steampowered.com/kb_article.php?ref=6262-QXCN-0755

If you have any further questions, please let us know.

The article they linked to is their general FAQ page on how steam gifts work. I had already inspected this article before submitting the support request but it clearly doesn't mention how one could buy a game and have the confirmation email say it went to one person and yet when I found the games in their steam client, one of the boys had both copies of the Sonic the Hedgehog.  They didn't address any of the issues I had.  Thusly I replied.

3 Message by you on Sun, 25th Sep 2011 1:20 pm
Is this my response? Are you kidding?

I bought games for one person and it was delivered to another person and you send me a boilerplate link?

Every single install said the gift was invalid and you sent me a boilerplate link?

I read that link before I submitted this ticket. I did not expect what I got - absolutely no response to the questions I have posed.

I spent a good deal of time attempting to explain what had happened and I even provided confirmation numbers and a screenshot. Is there a reason I wasn't offered anything more than a standard link that answers exactly zero of my questions?

I don't expect a reply any time soon. If I recall correctly it took nearly a month before I finally gave up on my only other Steam Support Ticket, mentioned previously. It is my firm opinion that steam support is broken beyond repair. Perhaps it is because they get a large amount of bogus requests and they aren't happy with their job. The mean streak in me thinks they hire people not smart enough to make change, let alone read a question and formulate an answer. Perhaps the "Support Techs" are on some sort of commission wherein the faster they respond to their queue the more they get paid, a la a factory's incentive program. I don't know. But it doesn't work. If you do a google search for "steam support" you might see that the support page is the first result. The second result is, for me, the steam forums. The third link is one entitled "Steam Support Sucks — Elliott C. Back."  This particular blog post is from 2006.  How does a link from 2006 stay so high in the google rankings?  Truth.  Validity of content.  Even steam's own forums are filled with thread such as "Steam support sucks" because it is true.

I know, I should speak with my dollars and not spend money there.  Perhaps that's where it will end up.  I'd be sick if I calcuated how many dollars I've given steam.  There's no question it is in the thousands of dollars.  I know they don't get all of that money.  Publishers get some, developers get some, who knows who else gets a cut.  All this in mind, they are still taking money from people to be the company that delivers the games.  They provide a service.  When this service does not work as intended or delivers the games to the wrong people, they should have support that works.  Clearly this is not the case.  The teeming masses have tried to make this public in an effort to get them to up the quality of their support service.  They clearly have not improved.  Perhaps what is needed is a class action lawsuit.  Perhaps what we need is a lawyer who needs to make a name from himself/herself and wants to champion a cause worth fighting for.  There's more money in class action lawsuits for the lawyers than there is for the individual so why not, says I.  Would it even work?  Can sub-par service be punished?  I don't know.  I am not a lawyer and never hope to be.

How to measure 1/3 cup when you don't have a 1/3 cup measuring device

So you need to measure 1/3 of a cup of something and your run of the mill set of measuring cups doesn't have one. What do you do?

This isn't rocket science but a handy tip that I thought I'd share with you oh loyal readers who demand I get off my doofus and share with the world.

First of all be aware that the stackable type of measuring cups are meant for measuring solids and the ones that are or look like they should be made of glass, well those are intended for measuring liquids. I use them interchangeably but you may be measuring something more precise where the differences would matter. For my purposes they do not matter. The more butter I put in the better people like it.

Anyway back to the program. How do you get 1/3 cup when all you have is a 1 cup, 2/3 cup, 1/2 cup and 1/4 cup measuring cups? Like this:

Pour whatever it is you are measuring into the 1 cup container. I know, I know you only need 1/3 of a cup. We won't waste it, I promise. And you won't have to eat it without cooking it or whatever it is you are doing. Put the stuff in the 1 cup container and fill it up as though you were going to use 1 cup. Now, put your 2/3 cup measuring device over the bowl you are mixing in, or whatever container you are using. Now pour the 1 cup of said solid into the 2/3 cup said solid allowing the excess to fall into the mixing bowl.

You now have 2/3 of a cup in a measuring container ready to be put back into its original container and 1/3 of a cup of your measured solid in your mixing bowl.

See that, cooking can be fun.

VerizonSucks.com ... who would you think would own that?

VerizonSucks.com is owned by verizon. Funny story. Well maybe not funny so much as infuriating.

But first, the link, because I'm not big media making you wait for "After the Jump"! the link to investigate it yourself.

There was a story on Slashdot (news for nerds or something like that) about how an update to internet explorer was doing some sort of NXDOMAIN hijack. (It doesn't matter what that means unless you want to google it) so I tested it out. Turns out I was hijacked by my new isp, verizon.

I guess it does matter what it means if you got this far. What it is all about is "what happens when you type a domain name that doesn't exist?" Typically your browser says something like "I can't find the domain at www.wtfThisShouldBeRealBecauseItsCoolAndHipAndTrendy.com." This particular form of hijacking intercepts the NXDOMAIN request and feeds you search results that are, more than likely, paid search results. So the offending party is making money on your bad spelling. Regardless, that's what it means.

After some searching I found I could opt out of verizon's DNS hijacking by changing the dns entry on every computer in my house. So I thought I'd call and voice my displeasure at this nonsensical way to do things. This should be done at the modem/router level so I can do it once and not have to worry about changing every device in my household. Anyway, the point being, I was on the phone with the automated system for some minutes while they determined that I wanted to speak english, talk about internet, not configure mail settings, etc, and I wanted an example domain to give them in the event that they did not know what NXDOMAIN was. What better example than verizonsucks.com? Well a million better examples but I was aggravated. Turns out that particular domain is in fact taken, not much to my surprise.

My surprise was that they own it. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised though. They are out to protect their brand name. That's a big part of a corporation. Keep the name brand worth as much as possible. What would Coke do, I wonder, if a batch they made caused many people to become sick. Would they try to cover it up if the FDA wasn't involved? Probably. It would damage the name.

Maybe I'm just getting angry at the kids on my lawn in my old age but it seems to me that corporations should allow free speech instead of just buying it out. Even wal mart doesn't outright buy out the mom and pop stores, they just keep the prices low enough that mom and pop don't get any business so they have to close down.

The times they are a'changing people. The customer is no longer always right. Especially if their misspellings can lead to paid ads and search results and "domains that might say bad things about us" can lead to somewhere we already own.

The pros of Prose

The witch, which never won one thing, save for a rose, would chop wood.
She never saw a saw or did see the sea but she rose the rose.
Since she had won just one she didn't make any rows.
But with her hose and her hoes she crafted some rows such that if she won one more, which witch which was called a moor, she have room for one more rose.

Oftentime on the rose there would to be a bee.
The bee told a fanciful tale but never stung her with his tail. He'd say,

Oh witch, which would chop wood, there is something more too see. Believe my tale and follow my tail and I will take your eye to see the sea.

Not knowing where or what to wear she asked the bee

If I am to be, to follow the bee, and I can see the sea, should I bring the rose which I rose? Will it know, or will it no?

To be a bee is crafty indeed for it could travel the four miles atop the rose which this witch had rose. And off they set, this unlikely set, the witch, the bee, the rose.

The witch walked carrying the rose and the bee kept his head pointed to see the sea. She believed his tale and so followed his tail and for four miles en route she would rest on the root of many a fallen tree. They saw ores made of lead on the route she was led and the hair of a hare and even once the bow of a beau.

At long last they arrived and it was here they would hear the merry thoughts of Mary, the witch which would chop wood, the witch which rose the rose.

To be a bee! To see the sea! This site in my sight, the sea which I see! The whale does wail, his skin all blue, from his top he blew, the whole of the hole, seen by I with my eye! Buy this shore I am sure I am no more a moor than the sun is a son or the scythe is a sigh!

--me.

and I guess the point is: never disparage someone learning English as a second language. It can be quite tricky.

Counterwhistling, or the general propensity of people to derail the thought train

Counterwhistling, or the general propensity of people to derail the thought train

First, the main proof of my argument. Put one's self in a social situation with many people in a mostly quiet area. A public park works well. Begin whistling something when nobody else is whistling or creating any music. Someone will begin whistling something contrary. Even if you are whistling a universally known song the counterwhistler will whistle something completely contrary to what you whistle. It works. Like every time. It is real. But why?

Why do people counterwhistle? Why do they derail a train that is already in motion, or attempt to? I do not believe it is a conscious act. I do believe some people counterwhistle more than others. Some people have shown me to be counterwhistlers at any given moment. Others seem to never engage in the act. What causes this? Is there a motivation within them to go against something other people have started and if so is it something they learned or is it something they were born with? My 8 year old son is a counterwhistler. I don't believe I taught him to be one but perhaps I did and I don't yet see it. I once worked with a guy that was the perennial counterwhistler. At any given note of whistling he would begin whistling his own tune. Does this also happen in nature? For example, when birds sing, is it a counterwhistle?

This does not have to be simply a whistling act to create the same effect. Having been a musician most of my life I see it in band situations as well. Nearly invariably when one person is tuning their instrument another is playing something that interferes with the tuning. If one member is showing another member a "lick" or otherwise teaching something, another member is actively playing something contrary. This, in effect, is counterwhistling. Another area I can attest to counterwhistling is while someone is engaged in thought. There are times I will personally be caught in a state of personal discourse with a subject matter. If someone is aware I am engaged in such an act and they are unable to contribute to the subject matter at hand they will begin to counterwhistle (or attempt to derail the thought train) by introducing completely unrelated subject matter to the thinker.

It seems to me that the more adverse a person is, the more they are likely to be argumentative for little or no reason, the more they are a counterwhistler. Is there a term for this, is it a known thing? I'm not a psychologist. I'm not a sociologist. I'm just a guy who wonders about such things. Why do we think and act the way we do? I sure don't know.

Nice guys do finish last

I don't understand the motive behind it precisely but I have realized this much: Being offended is what people desire. It is what motivates them to act. Certainly there are other manners of creating a reaction but this one simple act is what drives our society.

Specific examples: PETA, Scientology, MTV, Jackass, Overly loud music, Racism, Hate, Speech in improper vernacular, Feats of decided stupidity, Commercials on the whole, Wars, Sexual discrimination.

PETA gets attention by shocking people. They seem to know of no other way to further their cause. They exist on the absolute fringe of reality. Scientology seems to bring people in by shutting people out. They do not allow any speech of their religion anywhere and therefore it gains more notice than seemingly any other religion. MTV exists only to shock people into continued viewing, or at least it did the last time I turned it on. Jackass. wow. They realized in creating this show and the many copycat shows, that people laugh when others get hurt. The guy driving down main street with his radio so loud you can't hear your own music. Do you think it is in any way comfortable sitting in his vehicle? I would doubt it. Many racists spout their views at any given opportunity. I hate snakes. But I don't make or join clubs around this point. Many people create tension by speaking in the wrong voice. By this I mean they purposefully talk down to people by utilizing a type of speech that is not native to the listener. Easy examples are tech support assholes who utilize so much jargon the end user has no idea what they are trying to convey. On the other end of the spectrum are people that use words, phrases, or pronunciations that have long fallen out of usage in general everyday speech. "Ort" for "Ought", "Chimbley" for "Chimney", "I'll be John Brown" for "Imagine my surprise" and the like. Feats of stupidity have been a marketing tool for as long as people have been alive. High wire crossings to promote a new store. Climbing vertical buildings for sometimes no other reason than to prove how "badass" one can be. Commercials of almost any type serve to offend. Television uses sex. Radio uses harsh words. Political ads use hate. Religious ads use fear. War. wow. Wars just say, "Hey, I'm going to kill a bunch of you so you'll see my point." Talk about overstating the obvious. Homophobia exists, I think, only to prove that the speaker isn't a "homo." I don't give a shit if you suck cock or not, I simply don't want to see it or hear about it.

I suppose we should have seen this coming. Did we? I don't think so but that could simply be my naïveté. Did you see it coming? Were you warned of it, or did you postulate this on your own? Have you read this far, or have I not offended enough to build that buzz? Is there a solution? Is there a common desire for a solution? I don't think there is the desire for the solution to be quite honest. Prove me wrong. Please. Nice guys do finish last.

Something we tend to ignore

Yellowstone, the picturesque and ever popular vacation spot, is a volcano. It isn't like Hawaii where it has huge mountains from lava running and solidifying. It is what is considered a supervolcano. This indicates that when it blows it is so big that there's literally nothing left to solidify.

And it is about to blow. I really believe this.

After reading about such things in the must have book A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson I started watching Yellowstone and for that matter all earthquakes. Have a look for yourself:
Yellowstone area Earthquake list
That list shows, as of the time of this writing, 177 earthquakes. How long would that take? 4 days. 2 hours ago there was a magnitude 3.5 quake. There have been 10 quakes greater than magnitude 3.0 in the past 4 days.

Something down there is awake and is not happy.

So what's the history? Well from what Bryson penned, Yellowstone erupts about every 600,000 years. Its last real eruption? Just over 640,000 years ago. As he said, "We are overdue."

What will happen if it does blow? Reports are grim. Extinctions. A blanket of soot and ash across the earth to cool her down again. Is it related to global warming? Who knows. But if it does blow again we will all need to take cover. Life, as we know it, will cease.

What can be done? Nothing. We must ride the waves on this ocean of life. We can only watch out for the rocks beneath the surface. Have an action plan. Where will you go if something cataclysmic occurs? Short of taking up residence underwater I'm not sure if any plan is good enough. Historically it seems that most aquatic life fares better in times of global upheaval but we are ill equipped for such choices. It seems to me life underwater would have been more studied up to this point. Instead we seek life outside our own atmosphere. Personally I plan to go underground if such an event occurs. Perhaps it will not work. Perhaps the bears, bobcats, and other vermin will have the same plan and simply have me for a midnight snack. But it's a plan.

What's yours?

Green for the sake of?

Green. Like energy conscious. Yeah, I can dig that. But me? I'm green for the effort of saving money. Everyone has their reasons for stuff. Most people believe in God out of fear, not faith. I shit you not, dear reader. Ask around. Probe.

Anyway, we have an energy suck in my house and I hope to find it. We have already converted over to the small fluorescent bulbs but not to save money. We do not receive 100 or 100 volts. We get 130 out of our plugs. Why? Well we are rural and they say they have to boost the power so the people on the ends of the lines get the right amount. Again, I shit you not. So in the hopes of saving changing each bulb about once a month we opted for the more expensive but hopefully longer lasting bulbs.

Our dryer, a Kenmore 90 series, consumes 4kwh per hour on Permanent Press.
So at this rate it costs less than 40 cents per hour to run our dryer (along with a computer and two laptops and several lights. No heat or anything though. No televisions or hot water usage. Actual cost would work out to be: $0.3906 per hour.

I'm suspecting the water heater. Could be the heat pump. Maybe it is the washer? I'll edit this post with further findings.

Here's what I've found today:
Item Cost per hour
Dryer $0.40
H2O tank $0.30
Oven/Stove $0.40
Heat Pump $1.00


I don't think any of that is out of line. Still not turned the heat on and we've found that within the general vicinity of a computer the temperature is measurably higher, unsurprisingly. Maybe the short answer is that with 4 people in a house things add up. More studying to come. It really isn't that cool to work the heat pump that much in here, average of about 66F and the weather is to be increasing in temperature so we may not need the heat for a while. So no conclusion as of yet. Back to edit when I have more information.

Added heat pump. Started at 60F ambient temp. Allowed to run for 30 minutes. Brought ambient temp to 66F. 5Kwh used. $1 per hour. hmm.

String Shootout

Mused into action by the great work of Brandon Drury at http://www.RecordingReview.com/ I created a shootout of my own. My mixing or recording skills are not a part of this shootout however. Mine is about strings. Old strings versus new strings. Nothing changed other than the strings and the eq on the guitar to different, but reproducible levels.

The equipment:

Guitar: Fender CD-60CSE

Pickup: Piezo direct to computer input. Volume at 100%, eq as shown below.

Computer recording device: Creative Sound Blaster Audigy 2 ZS platinum pro jimmie jack this doesn't have a long enough name. Used line-in / mic in 2, front panel. Hardware mixer set at 12 o' clock. Internal jumper has been changed from factory condenser setting to dynamic (not sure if this plays any part in this but there it is.)

Strings: (Both Sets)

D'Addario EJ16 Light (.012-.053) Phosphor Bronze

Used Set: Approximately 25-50 hours of play time on them

New Set: uhhh, new.

So the breakdown: I have the eq on the guitar flat, volume maxed. I have the line in 2 volume knob at 12 o'clock, straight up. I have the line in 2 mixer setting at 100% and the record level of line 2 at 100% into audacity with no effects. The cord used is a planet waves and there is nothing between the guitar and the computer at any point. The signal should, in essence, never change in any of the recordings, other than the noted eq settings which are reproducible since +12/-12 is that slider's all up or all down position.

First I recorded a little piece of Leyenda, or at least how I think of that song, with the eq flat. Then I started a new recording with the highs on the 3 band eq on the fender all the way up (+12). After recording that I moved it back to zero and then dropped the bass all the way (-12) and recorded another version like that. Then for reference purposes I put the eq at zero and recorded another flat version.

With all that done I saved my audacity project. Now I changed strings on the Fender to the new set of D'Addario EJ16's. Interesting note, the packaging has a tension guide on them which I find fascinating.

After polishing the guitar, which I hope wouldn't make any difference, but it did happen so I can't leave it out, I tuned the guitar's new strings a couple times hoping to get them up to snuff for staying in tune, and started the process over. First flat, then treble +12, then bass -12, then another reference track.

Can I hear a difference? Indeed. There is a slight signal boost in the new strings and I suspect that is coming from the overtones / harmonics that are missing in the old strings. Therefore if your "tubes" don't sound like they used to? Maybe you need new strings.

Here are links to the sound files for your own perusal.

Old Strings, Flat EQ

New Strings, Flat EQ

Old Strings, Treble +12

New Strings, Treble +12

Old Strings, Bass -12

New Strings, Bass -12

Old Strings Flat Again

New Strings Flat Again

Next up, my bass needs new strings. I use fender Nylon Tapewound 9120s strings on a squire jazz bass. The only musical thing I'd rather do than play on new bass strings would be to crawl into a grand piano with ball pean hammers. Now the question is, what do I mean by that?!

I welcome our omnipotent government

American Community Survey (ACS)

First thing's first. This is now part of the census. And unlike voting and going to church, this one is mandatory.

The American Community Survey is conducted under the authority of Title 13, United States Code, Sections 141 and 193, and response is mandatory. According to Section 221, persons who do not respond shall be fined not more than $100. Title 18 U.S.C. Section 3571 and Section 3559, in effect amends Title 13 U.S.C. Section 221 by changing the fine for anyone over 18 years old who refuses or willfully neglects to complete the questionnaire or answer questions posed by census takers from a fine of not more than $100 to not more than $5,000. The U.S. Census Bureau may use this information only for statistical purposes. We can assure you that your confidentiality is protected. Title 13 requires the Census Bureau to keep all information about you and all other respondents strictly confidential. Any Census Bureau employee who violates these provisions is subject to a fine of up to $250,000 or a prison sentence of up to five years, or both.

You may view Title 13 at the U. S. House of Representatives website at the following address: http://uscode.house.gov/download/title_13.shtml

--http://www.census.gov/acs/www/SBasics/What/What1.htm

So let's recap: Census. New. Mandatory. There is at least one of those 3 that you will not believe. I assure you, they are all three mostly true. The new thing isn't exact, it's been going on for a few years, but it only hits a certain percentage of the population, and this year I'm the unlucky target.

Unlucky he says, how come?

Let's look at their faq for the answer (faq location is here.)

I've never seen anything this intrusive. Why do you ask such detailed questions?

The ACS questionnaire asks very detailed questions because we are required to collect specific information for federal and state government programs. For example, long-term care providers and community planners use information about disability to help them decide where to locate services and facilities. Federal and state government transportation planning agencies use journey-to-work information for roads and public transit development. You can find Fact Sheets on the ACS Web site that explain why we ask these questions.

No shit. This bastard is an evil form. They start with my address. Then they get my name. Now every name of everyone else that lives at the address. Dates of birth, physical problems, mental capacities, mortgage amount, phone number...

OH and then there's this gem of racial profiling (page 2, 3, and 4):

NOTE: Please answer BOTH Question 5 about Hispanic origin and Question 6 about race. For this survey, Hispanic origins are not races.

Then they go on to make the person say where their heritage stems. Funny, I'm just "caucasian." Maybe I should fill that question out with "From caucasia."

Anyway, you can look at the forms online or just wait until your turn. Don't be surprised when you read the questions and find that you do not wish to provide any answers.

I checked the fines and was considering just letting them get me for felony refusal or something. I simply do NOT want to provide anyone with this level of detailed information. As it turns out if I don't get on to filling the form out they will start calling me. Odd how they'd know my phone number from an "anonymous" survey. And I guess if that doesn't work they send out a "field rep." I shit you not -- read the faq above.

So like the all the king's horses and all the king's men will be coming to the forest of peasants to find out how they are living. I wish I was on the brute squad.

Relating horspower and torque to real life

Much of what I've accomplished in my life has been in the way of analogies. See, I have developed something of an ability to explain computers in ways that people understand.

If I'm talking to a car guy I tell it like it's a car. See, this is your motherboard. It is like the frame of the vehicle. The case is like the body. Everything plugs into the frame, right, so that's the motherboard and we'll put our engine on that. Cpu is the motor, blah blah blah.

I just try to figure out some system the user understands and relate computering to that. Anyway, it makes sense to the person and they often thank me for the insight and its nice.

So today I came up with the solution to a problem.

Here's the problem:
How do you explain the difference in horsepower and torque to someone who isn't a gearhead? Well I came up with a workable solution. Sure, it isn't entirely accurate, but it seems to be a good way to get the overall point across in a manner most will understand.

Here's the solution:
The difference between horsepower and torque for Everyman:

First of all forget about horsepower and torque, we're not going to start with those. Let's think of your favorite bicycle. I've had a bunch and I would have to say all of us have ridden down a hill. Well let's do that. Imagine yourself on this bike and you are riding down a hill. It's a hot day and there isn't much breeze so you pick up the pace to get some of the wind whipping through your helmet (you ARE wearing your helmet, aren't you?!) The wind feels good so you pick up the pace a bit more to get more of a good thing and then get drunk with pleasure and are pumping full speed down this hill with the wind whipping your hair and bugs in your teeth and freedom in your soul. This is horsepower.

Now, you've made it to the bottom of the hill, had a nice little dip in the stream in the valley and you're all hydrated and ready to head back up. I'm afraid the imagery isn't as poetic this time around. Your muscles ache, you grind the pedals in a circular rotation and the hill is as such that you are easily able to count the rotations to keep your mind off the fact that your upper thigh is burning like a rash you had back in college, you're sweating like something from another world, and you generally just hate having to trudge back up the hill. This is torque.

You use a little bit of each (horsepower / torque ) depending on your terrain and load. The numbers you see shown on websites and literature are their peak numbers. Actual performance in either a real engine or a person would be a gradual graph of values up to their peak and then falling off again. These numbers are not, of course, meaningless. But you can take it on face value that if you want more get up and go right off the bat without revving all the way up you'll want something with torque in the low end. This means you want your torque numbers to be high at low revolutions of the engine. This is what tugs you up the hill on your bike, your pedaling the crank is the torque.


Anyway, it makes sense to me. :P

Turn off your tv

Recently read an article detailing the manner in which companies attempt to market to the general public, ie you and me. Some of the main points were tivo type devices, spyware and search engine history, and a couple other topics. Mostly it dealt with visual media which begs the question:

Why not turn it off?

I think in much the same way that our society has eating problems we have an addiction to the television. I don't see people outside anymore. The number of people I know that sew for a hobby is diminishing. The number of "Rock Band/Guitar Hero" musicians now seems to outnumber the real deal.

People often ask me, "hey, did you see the ad about such and such?"
No, I don't watch tv.
They continue to tell me how great and clever an ad is and quite honestly I don't care. I guess for the most part I've shut off the switch for tv loving in my brain and I think its to my own advantage. Do still have a soft spot for Love Boat and Fantasy Island though.

music, a lover.

What is it about music and me? Well unless you know me personally that's just a random question. Those that know me understand that question well but as of yet nobody has been able to offer any answers.

Here's how it broke down:

At age 8 I jumped off a barn. Told mom I broke my ankle running. Subsequently I was given a new guitar and showed some chords. I practiced my chords and enjoyed the guitar. I had to walk with crutches so I had plenty of time to sit on the couch and make little noises. It was all great fun.

One tragic evening.

The family requested I sing "Home on the Range" while I played it. I declined. They insisted. I declined. They made it an order. I complied. They laughed. I cried.

My 8 year old psyche changed that evening. I had always been the "class clown" type and was ok with some ridicule but I found out I was only ok with ridicule when I was asking for it.

I vowed never to sing again. I got over it.

I guess I came to a point in my psychological development where I realized I really wasn't too great of a singer, player, or songwriter and I really didn't care. I enjoyed making the music and I decided that was good enough for me.

I've recorded my own songs since I was about 15. They are all very distinct. I've yet to find a person that can tell me what style of music it is that comes out of me. There's a lot of country in there. Some 50's type stuff. Dissonance, sustained chords. Always a catchy hook. I'm addicted to them. But when its all brought together it's just, well, distinct. I don't want to sound all high and mighty but it's rather like when Metallica came out. You didn't have to know the song to know immediately it was Metallica. I'm kind of the same way in a whole other genre.

See, that's another thing. When you heard Metallica, not only did you know it was some form of Rock, you also knew it was Metallica. With my songs you won't be able to put a term on the genre but you'd be able to say, "Yup, that's JohnCub."

I guess I've had a musical bug lately that coincided with the opening of a local (to me) venue that has bands. I live in this odd place that doesn't have bars. With no bars comes no music so I've been being bled dry musically. Life on scan, no live music... gah.

But what gave me the bug? I think it was two main factors that told me to get off my ass and get to practicing.
1. Guitar hero. Here's my opinion of guitar hero: wtf. It costs nearly as much as a starter instrument when you have all the pieces. screw that, give me a real guitar. I'll never be a hero but I'll be great fun around a campfire.
2. Current popular music. I have no idea what the song was exactly. I was in the back seat on a work trip and the driver put the radio to some station with some song that I thought was a joke until it lasted for 5 minutes. It was so absolutely horrendous that I decided even I was better than that.

So maybe I'm not better than whoever it was. But it sounds better to me. I don't rap. I know I can't sing well but I try. I know I miss notes and entire chords but meh, it seems to flow well enough for my brain to smooth it over. I'm not a perfectionist when it comes to music, quite the opposite. I've often wondered if my genre should be "Lo-Fi" or something. AM Gold? heh.

Lately I've been riding a maelstrom of musicality. I've written two songs in the past week or so and I really believe they are of pretty good quality. They aren't recorded well but I'm not so worried about that sticky bit. I mainly record so I don't forget my own songs. I know that sounds impossible but I know from personal experience it is not only possible, it happens more often than not.

Anyway since I record my songs so I don't forget them and am ok with sounding as mediocre as I do I decided to put them online as I make them. The myspace band profile lets you put 6 songs up and they pay for the bandwidth. Seemed like a pretty decent deal to me so I hooked it up and did the whole friend list thing. Meh, I don't know. Over 500 plays now and I think only one actual comment on the music itself.

Maybe I'm wondering if it is better to be aware of people laughing and pointing or just to stay in the dark as I am?

Time will tell.


In the meantime, grab a lounge chair and a margarita and listen to my song Love Boat at my music page.

Life, on scan

So my cd player quit working in my 2 year old jeep. :-\

I don't have a favorite radio station primarily because the amount of talking far exceeds the amount of music any one of them play. I do occasionally listen to NPR but lately I've been in more of a music-ey way so I've lived the past couple months on "Scan."

"Scan" is a spot on your radio as much as it is a black hole in the entertainment matrix.

Living on scan gives you a wide variety of what is available. I've always been diverse in my listening pleasures so this isn't too bad for me, I like to shake things up. I've learned some new funny songs this way and for a while the ones I seemed to gravitate towards were country songs. I especially like songs with a story and very few non-country artists are able to do this. It seems there are two camps: Set up a scenario and Tell a story. I enjoy both camps but my bunk is in the tell a story one.

Recently I was in a large american city and I decided to try my scan tactic. I figured it would be mere moments before I found something so wonderful and enriching I'd never need to leave the station. As such was not the case. I found it to be a droll and quiet on the good music front as it is here in podunk. There was less static though, I'll admit that.

Live within your means

Having dealt with people with computer problems for many many years now taught me a valuable lesson: Live within your means. I'm not talking about monetary concerns. I'm talking about what programs and settings are turned on inside an individual computer. One of the most common complaints I hear when I get the "can you fix it" call is, "It doesn't run like it used to."


I think one of my strong suits is that I can "Bring something home" ie I think I make good analogies that people can relate to. Not in a Buddhism or Yoda kind of way, but one that simply "Makes sense."

Somebody gets a new computer, they love it. It zips zooms and flies to their expectations, like most new computers do. Within days it is loaded up with the software that the individual desires on there. We all have our favorites and it seems almost everyone has at least one "non-standard" favorite. I have several, unsurprisingly, since I deal mostly with computer programming. Nobody like paint or any of the usual graphical editors (hello? paint? gah!) So we all install our favorite image editor. I made my choice long ago on one that doesn't touch any of my file associations without asking. If I change a file association manually (as I sometimes do for animated gifs) the program doesn't give me a warning that I'm doing something potentially unsafe or whatever (at least nothing more than windows itself does.) Quicktime? It will never go on another one of my computers by my hand and my family is aware that quicktime is not to be installed on my machine. See that little Q down by your clock? You might have to click the double carat to open up that full gargantuan list of crap that starts at startup.


This is your first clue that you aren't living within your means.

1. Count the number of icons in the full list of what is commonly called (but much controversy surrounds the actual name) the system tray.

This is where you clock is and likely a little speaker icon of some fashion. I hope one of the icons down there indicates a real time virus scanner. AVG is free for personal usage and while it does a couple of things that annoy me (I don't like double-confirmation boxen) it IS free (money-wise, not source code) and works well. You may or may not have a double computer icon down there indicating your network connection status. You may have several actually: It all depends on how many network interfaces you have on your computer and how many are set to display. Some may have a red x over the computers. This indicates there is no connection on that interface and as long as you have some connection that red x can be ignored or turned off. If there are any requests I can look at how to do this and detail it.

If you have a full set of graphics drivers installed you may get some form of video icon in the system tray. If you keep a card reader or anything usb plugged in you'll see the "safely remove hardware" icon. Use this, won't you? Don't just pull your cards. Eject them first. Go to my computer, figure out which one is your card, right click and choose eject or unmount or whatever that item is. This tells windows, "Last chance, anything you want to write down on here before we go?" Do get in the habit. There's no recovering from half of a file on the camera card and half in windows memory that I know of. If you're like me you keep a lot more on a memory stick than pictures anyway.

So the rundown in your system menu: Clock, Antivirus, networking, sound, video, usb, and if absolutely necessary printer bloat.
I highly discourage printer bloat (anything that runs real time to interface with your printer/scanner/copier/faxer/toast maker. If it is necessary then so be it but if you can lose it you're much better off. Live within your means.

Now in all likelihood you have Quicktime, Bonus Miles, Yahoo, MSN Messenger, and half a dozen other items coming up down there. I've seen people with over 20 and it's almost unheard of to see less than 10. I have 5 on my windows startup at home. Networking, AVG, usb, sound, and video. Pare yours down. Uninstall the programs you don't actually use. The only suggestion I have about quicktime and itunes is to rid them of your system and live with the fact that .mov files are off limits without a lot of trouble. Get rid of weatherbug. Do it now. Uninstall. There are rss feeds for weather that do not tax your system like such items do. Same with bonus coupons and anything that claims to "give you a deal." It's a lie. Universally. Just get rid of the bloat.

Spyware is a big component of many slowdown issues I've dealt with. There's no easy answer here because of the complexity of the issue. Some people want complete and utter privacy until they realize that to obtain that they must not store their usernames and passwords anywhere and must log into each website on each visit. "Hmmm, that's not for me," says just about everyone. But there's a middle ground. It requires the user to think and to make a decision based on trust. For example, when you go to windows update it might ask if you want to install some software. There might be a box that says "Always trust content from Microsoft." Always is forever. It isn't forever yet so I'm not going to commit to trusting them all the time. And I feel the same way about almost everything else. Personally I give more faith to an open source software effort than any commercial venture. I trust mozilla and its products, but not always and forever. I don't commit to that. You shouldn't either if you want to keep tabs on who is doing what. If you are "Starting from zero got nothing to lose" (Tracy Chapman, ~1989) then your best bet is to get a reputable spyware scanner and let it start by cleaning everything out. BE WARNED: You will likely need to know your username and password on most of the websites you visit, if not all. This is the biggest, hardest part of the process but a necessary step. This won't take "A couple minutes." This is the beginning of a lifelong process. You are about to become aware that when you allow something on your computer you are allowing it into your home. Even if you're "okay" with something being able to access personal information is it within your computing means?

Computer hardware is what it is. It evolves fairly quickly but not by leaps and bounds. It seems to be more of a migratory process than anything revolutionary. We're all, for the most part, living on modest machines around an average of what I'll guess to be 2 gigahertz. My laptop is only 1 and my desktop is only about 1.6 but I think for the most part I'm on the low end of the spectrum.

Software continues to evolve and grow. More programs are created every day to help us be more productive, interest our minds, and to do whatever it is we do with computers. We want more. But is it within our means? Do we have the processor required, the hard drive space available, and are willing to fight with it in the event that it does something we don't like (for example, installs a secondary application that you do not desire or installs the Yahoo toolbar, dirge of the internet.) This is part of the process of keeping a clean system.

So go have a poke around in your add/remove programs. Get crazy with it. In addition, removing Microsoft Office does NOT remove your documents. And Openoffice is so much better and free-er (like thought and beer.)

Dear bestofjoomla fireboards

I have encountered the absolute worst instructions on the planet and they are yours. I read the instructions several months ago and saw they were farked up. It wasn't until I had a problem with Fireboard that I decided to take the plunge. I tried to log into your forums to find out wtf was going on with these instructions but luckily I wasn't able to.

I will say this much: it's worth what I paid for it.


Below are their instructions with my notes (in red) inline.

Upgrade from Fireboard 1.0.1 (Beta)

 WTF IS THAT? I see a box that says F0DB or something. Double byte character says what? Backup your MySql tables and file structure as described above.

1. Download the 1.0.4 Patch files zip file.
2. Extract the “FireBoard_1.0.4_Stable_PatchFiles.zip” files on your local system. You will notice that it has the same structure as the files on your server
3. Connect to your website via FTP and overwrite all the local files over the remote files. This way your server will have latest files of the stable version Keep in mind this is a total of 452 files and if you read ahead you'll find that you're going to have to move some of them. Move isn't such a big deal for me because I can log in through a terminal. I'll bet those on hosts that don't support such features or users that don't know how to use it got a bit miffed at uploading man of these no-longer-compressed files twice.
   
4. Fireboard 1.0.2+ stores the common files, such as uploaded files, avatars, uploaded images,… under “Joomla_Root/images/” directory. Please make sure that your “Joomla_Root/images/” is writable. Also, you might want to CREATE that directory.
   
5. Copy “components/com_fireboard/_fbfiles/” directory in the extracted package to “Joomla_Root/images/” directory and rename it to “fbfiles/” and ensure that it is writable (and also all its subdirectories). At the end you will have such a path: “Joomla_Root/images/fbfiles”. You can do this in Linux by applying the following command: Command: chmod –R 777 images/fbfiles/ Here's the one that pushed the donkey over the edge. I was told to download 1.0.4 patch files. I did. No such _fbfiles directory exists in this zip file. I downloaded the 1.0.4 stable complete package and I find only an _fbfiles_dist. Which do I use, the one that doesn't exist or the one that doesn't exist? Quite the choice you've left the end user with. I only know my images no longer work. swell.
   
6. Move (old) directories and all contents of Remember when I said if you'd read ahead? “components/com_fireboard/avatars”, “components/com_fireboard/category_images”, “components/com_fireboard/uploaded/files”, “components/com_fireboard/uploaded/images” to the new “Joomla_Root/images/fbfiles”. The final structure should look like this: Yes, this is quite useful, this emptiness that says it should look like this.
   
7. Open “Upgrades/Fireboard_101_to_1.0.3.Stable.sql” file. You can download it here: Fireboard_101_to_1.0.3.Stable.sql
8. If necessary, rename all the “jos_” occurrences to your own database prefix. Hence, if your db prefix it “boj_” then you should rename all “jos_” to “boj_”.
9. Execute the queries on your remote host; either inside phpmyadmin or your favourite database manager. If you don’t know how to do this, please read: http://community.mybboard.net/showthread.php?tid=4720 If you get any error during the execution, e.g. you had done some modifications to the database before, then you should execute the rest of the queries and not all of them. The queries are executed in the order as they are listed in the upgrade. First at the top and last at bottom.
10. Now, head on to Fireboard Configuration and check if you have the latest version, by looking at the bottom of the page.
11. Enter Fireboard configuration section and modify the settings to your need. See, I got this far and then something happened. I clicked save and all of a fucking sudden the root of my web site, you know public_html, is no longer readable. Ergo I get 403 forbidden on anything in my root. Hey, thanks! That made this upgrade something I'll never forget! Right about this time, about 2.5 hours into the install, I finally get the lost password request / reset password from the good folks at bestofjoomla. I use the new password to log in and guess what? I'm blocked because I didn't reply to my confirmation email. Where do I get another? Beats the living shit out of me. Not from them. I believe I'll go back to hand coding pages. I've had enough of this shit. I emailed my web host and asked them to look into what had happened with the permissions and to please reset them so I have web access again. Once that's done I'll be kicking this POS joomla and fireboard to the curb forever.
    
12. Enter the control panel, and click on “Recount Categories Stats”. This will recount all the posts and update your frontend statistics. You should apply this action from time to time to ensure consistency in your forum statistics.

If you have any further questions or problems, please visit the BestofJoomla.com forums. Yeah well I'd fucking love to. Do I have to make a whole new account because I can't find the stupid email you sent at some random point, 2-6 hours after I request something? fuck it. Fireboard sucks.

Update:

My host fixed my problem. They said:

The root of the web directory was set as 770, when it should be 755. I made the needed change and all is working fine for me now. Now to make the final decision on kicking all the code to the curb and rolling my own again. Either way its a hassle.

Moss, lichens, and water erosion? Oh my.

As I often do I went for a wander at lunch time. This is the norm for me. I have a tree out on wildcat cove I like to visit. I enjoy spending time down by the calf-killer river. I like to think about how many canoes have travelled that waterway. Someday I hope to get a canoe and ride a few miles on it. Today's journey was up towards Sunset Rock on Bon Aire mountain. I don't have a name for this route that I take that spans from the country club to some church to the bon aire highway but there I was tooling along at a brisk 10-15 miles per hour looking into the forest. There's no missing the rocks and boulders on this mountain and maybe it was due to everything being dead for winter or my eye just caught it right but I noticed many of the rocks and boulders on this mountain have very very obvious and very very pronounced erosion. It very much looks like these boulders have lived their lives in a tumultuous pool that can be envisioned on the shores of some harsh island with waves not lapping but attacking the land. I actually pulled over and decided to get a closer look. Perhaps my eyes were deceiving me. I walked around to several of them noting that there is moss and lichen on almost all rocks indicating they have been where they are for a very long time. At least this is what it indicates to my very simplistic understanding of all things geology. It doesn't make sense though. Here is an area that is about 350 meters above sea level with no water passing over the top of it other than possibly rainwater. These rocks have been here for hundreds of year (by my own reckoning, mind you) and they are waterworn. How odd is that.

Boys that play with cars

It likely won't come as any surprise to loyal fans that your humble narrator is and always has been a boy that plays with cars. On one of my favorite web forums they mentioned Stompers in passing. I knew they wouldn't want to hear me whine and pine over the fun I had with them so I dropped in here with you.

I think I was about 9 when they came out, or at least when I became aware of them. I lived on a muddy hillside; A perfect spot for such a rough and tumble machine. I recall marvelling at what I thought was complexity. I did pine for an active suspension but was placated by the dual sets of tires (medium density foam or hard plastic.) I recall setting up dozens of scenarios where the stomper would attempt to make it through a gully and then maybe over a bridge without falling in to the sudden death below.

In a way we never grow up. Or maybe it is that some of the things we start in childhood never end. Perhaps its that I haven't lost all of my boyhood wonder yet. I still love cars in some odd esoteric way. I have a fascination with all of the mechanics of them and how some have different ways of accomplishing similar goals. My own daily driver vehicle was purchased because it was one I think most little boys are fascinated with at some point, a Jeep. It's kind of "just like" an old CJ, only it does have padding in the seats and there's a few more inches tacked in there. There is no denying I purchased it more for the toy value than the getting groceries part. Sure, any other car would have sufficed my mechanical desires but the jeep allows one to open the hood and see everything. Open a minivan's hood. Not much to see. I can crawl under my jeep and lay in comfort while pondering what made that ding on my rear differential case. I have done this. I find it enjoyable. If I won the lottery and had nothing else to do I would certainly do this at least every couple of days (but likely I'd be looking under different cars most days.)

My eldest is now in 2nd grade and they were offered the opportunity to participate in the elementary school's science fair. They are not obligated to do a project but extra credit is granted for those that do. We all decided it would be fun to do one so we set upon the task of choosing a topic. The school had sent home a list of suggestions but those seemed so drab. We found a website on the topic and read through their offerings. None of them really grabbed his attention. He was stuck on one that made the wife and I cackle the first time we heard it:

How fast does a go-kart go?

With the knowing look we both realized: It has started.

Not having a go-kart at my disposal I suggested we could see how fast my radio controlled truck would go. This pleased him.

Plan A:
Saturday morning. Arrived at middle school parking lot to find not a car in sight. Set start line and began measuring until we had one tenth of a mile. Set markers at turns and had it ready to go. Fueled the radio controlled truck, started, warming up. Had it up to temperature and was warming the tires with some high speed runs to practice the course. Curb.

Parts run. $40.

The next day I had it back up and running again with the new parts. This was a broken lower A arm in case you're following along. I decided instead of just replacing that one I'd replace the upper and lowers on the front suspension with some better ones.

Plan B:
Since there are no curbs around my house and only traffic to worry about I decided I would measure out an area in front of my house to measure the speed. I did this Sunday and when all was set we brought the whole family out to participate in the activities. I drove the truck (It's a Tmaxx made by Traxxas in case you care,) the wife managed the stopwatch, eldest was the starter and data recorder. and little bit was a stark raving mad fan.

We managed to get 4 good runs before we ran it out of fuel and susequently decided to call it a day. We had our data and eldest and I sat at the computer with Open Office's Calc and set up a spreadsheet to calculate our miles per hour. Within moments we had our results and eldest felt it was a job well done. This was when the reality of it was only the beginning of the work was explained to him. Through much drudging we've put together a smashing presentation and even though some of it wasn't to his liking, adding in a radio controlled real-engine powered truck that eats gas and screams like a banshee, well that made it a little bit better.

As it turned out, somewhere in that long line of testings and whatnot, several other parts broke and I spent today disassembling it, cleaning it, and reassembling with non-broken parts. In the end I even found all of the screws. It was pretty hairy there for a while. :) And now I present you with a view of the truck in question, another of my horrible little boy toys. :)

Taste has volume.

Taste has volume. This occurred to me whilst eating two pieces of lemon & pomegranate gum the other day. You see, aside from its odd sounding ingredients, it's quite tasty. I had a piece the day before and found it to be "A frothy mixture of fun and youth" although others may refer to it as "Pond Scum."

Back to the present: It occurred to me to try the recommended serving: two pieces. Thusly I chose and consumed two pieces.

This gum has a candy shellac over the gum and is in something of an engorged button shape. At first it is a bit crunchy and then becomes sort of crumbly in your mouth. At the point that you're sure you're about to swallow what is left of the crumbs they congeal into the gum that we all know and love; Proper texture and all.

As you might have guessed this gum has a particular flavor. It doesn't "muck in" well on the sports field. It was after my gum had come to the full gummy state that I realized the flavor was .... well, louder. It was brighter, it had more to it than a single piece alone.

This made me realize that the senses are in fact quite peculiar and under-appreciated. Now it seems taste has volume. I thought that was reserved for the ears but I was incorrect. It is a shared trait and always has been. Ever put 2 hot balls in your mouth at once? Well I was a little boy once so I did. The volume was unbearable.

It also seems to me that taste has something of a 3 dimensional quality. I'm having trouble understanding it enough to put into words so luckily this part of the post will sound just like the rest and you, my beloved reader, will never know. Oh wait! Moving on; I can't, right off, think of a one dimensional taste so I think they all have multiple dimensions. Not sure how many or what they are. Come to think of it they are everywhere too. Some foods burn the tip of your tongue while others burn more on the sides or rear. Some things aren't hot until they're well in your gullet and suddenly you have heat coming out of your ears and sweat rolling from your brow. Hot isn't the only general flavor that is effected I think. Salty can do the same. Regular salt on regular food, no big deal; Tastes like salt. Add too much soy to an already salty chinese stir fry and its a salt that consumes the senses with explosions of salt flavor throughout much more of your tasting apparatus. Sweet & Sour same way.

I believe there would be a limit as well. Curiously strong mints. Altoids. These are the volume leaders that I have encountered (with the only contender being whatever gum my brother chews) and I have found that multiple altoids at once produce very little in the way of increasing volume because it seems some magical ceiling has been reached.


I will continue my studies and report my findings. Unless you've already completed that part?

WikiTravel.org as a source of humor

Since I enjoy travel and reading I matched them up at wikitravel.org. I've spent a good number of hours perusing the anecdotes and tips that they offer. Some of them elicit a response but it would be rude for me to add my notes inline so I will do it here.

In the spirit of quoting them and their Creative Commons Sharealike license I release this post under the same license. or whatever.

Here's the way this will work. I'll quote them. then I respond. Try to keep up and I want to remind you in advance: this is it folks, I don't dance.

*A common belief in Iceland is the hidden people, such as Elves or Dwarves who live in rocks and caves. Their road workers often avoid large rocks as to not upset the inhabitants. Approx 80-90% of Icelanders believe in the hidden people, and many have seen them. There is even a museum in Reykyavik devoted to the hidden people.
**Peggy Hill is collecting them. They have names like winklebottom. they have left your cold conditions and moved to more inhabitable continents. Perhaps you should consider following suit.

*However, low traffic in areas outside Reykjavik makes hitchhiking in Iceland an endurance sport.
**Just ha!

*Hitchhiking into the interior is tough, but everything works if you have enough time - calculating in days, not in hours. For longer distances or less touristic areas be prepared with some food, water and a tent or similar. The weather can be awful and sometimes spoils the fun of this way of traveling.
**Reminder: this is freaking ICEland. Ya think they brought that name out of a hat? No, Einstein. where we would marvel at the Mississippi river (ol' miss, deeeeeep river) they might enjoy staring at so and so glacier. Yes, GLACIER. camp on that, boy scout!

Did you know the Bahamas are just east of north carolina? According to my wall atlas the distance would be less than the drive from Memphis, TN to Pittsburgh, PA. But ya know what, that's a small bit of island to find. 20 square miles. Pretty much out in the middle of no freaking where. You run out of gas before you find it, you die. Ah paradise islands. We should equip more people with boats.