Kind words of discouragement are always appreciated

I know, I know, I'm not one to post lyrics like a 13 year old girl.

I guess I need to put in some sort of explanation so the many many readers (ha!) I have can rest easy tonight. To quote a Staind song, "I'm ok. I'm not ok." and that's the way life is.

I guess I've always been a fan of the mind fuck. It began early. I remember listening to Simon and Garfunkel at age 9. I had a 45 (that's a record kids, it rotates at 45 revolutions per minute, and contains 2 songs) of the Sound of Silence. I didn't like it on 45 though, I liked it much better at 33. If you don't know what any of that means, well, you're too young. In my teen years I happened upon a cassette of the smiths. In case you aren't familiar with them let's just describe them as the "Woe is me" band. I'm not much of a woeful person to be quite honest, but I am one that gets caught up in the story, especially if it makes one reflect.

What's going on with me is a real mind fuck, although it's nothing that I can't handle. I think it will end up being a positive experience because I feel a song welling up in me. Now I just have to find some way of getting it out. I'm out of practice and don't have anyone to really help me out with it. That should give me some time to work on the lyrics anyway. :P

To summarize, dear readers, I'm ok, I'm not ok. But I'll be ok in the future. Kind words of discouragement are always appreciated though.

Which reminds me of a song I wrote quite some time ago. If you know me in real life you've likely heard me play and sing it while mostly drunk. :P

//==========================================\\
||             Souvenirs                    ||
||          Written by JohnCub              ||
\\==========================================//



You knew that you could do it and now that you're done
Will you stop to think about the price of your fun
I love you like no other cause you make me feel pain
And I'll be here forever just to do it again


Most people think I'm insane
I prefer to believe Mildly deranged
I can't help it I like pain
And that's why   I    love you.


You held my hand we walked in sand
we both fell in love
we both knew in the morning there'd be nothing of us
Loving you like this can only make me deranged
Scratch me with it bite me now again and again


Most people think I'm insane
I prefer to believe Mildly deranged
I can't help it I like pain
And that's why   I    love you.


One day will forever be and I cannot wait
I'm hoping that forever's you but that's up to fate
Every time that you come near I lose all my fears
All I want from you this time is one souvenir.


Most people think I'm insane
I prefer to believe Mildly deranged
I can't help it I like pain
And that's why   I    love you.


And that's why   I    love you.

S&G sums it up for me tonight

A winters day
In a deep and dark December;
I am alone,
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.
I am a rock,
I am an island.


I've built walls,
A fortress deep and mighty,
That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
Its laughter and its loving I disdain.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

Don't talk of love,
But I've heard the words before;
It's sleeping in my memory.
I wont disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.
If I never loved I never would have cried.

I am a rock,
I am an island.


I have my books
And my poetry to protect me;
I am shielded in my armor,
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

And a rock feels no pain;
And an island never cries.

Even the cows stopped eating to watch me pass

To say I moved to rural America would be an understatement. I am considered a "county resident" due to the fact that I live in this thing called "Out in the country." We do, however, have many neighbors. Mostly bovine. I'm not much of an expert on them so I'll just say some are brown, some are black, some are white, and some are mixed. I'm sure they are all quite tasty.

Have you lived around cows? They are about as docile and lackadaisical as an animal can be. Complacence is king in the world of the herd. It takes more than a car crash to get the attention of more than one or two stragglers. Calves are, of course, a different story. They are full of life, vim, vigor, and all the stuff little boys are made of. They hit a magic age and it's like they started hitting the magic hookah. They no longer want to play reindeer games. such is the life of a cow.

This evening I had the full attention of hundreds of cows for quite some time. Not all at once mind you, I wasn't going that fast. I took a ride on my bike. It's nice to be able to enjoy a bike ride. Bike riding was my childhood love. I still love it. I'm not fast or good but I enjoy it as much as anyone can. I wonder if the cows will continue to stare.

An open letter to Fiona Apple

Dear Ms. Apple:

I am writing to you today to convey my gratitude for your many recordings. The range of your voice and diversity of the instruments make every song a unique pleasure. Your risqué topics and oft-sultry voice offer a glimpse into your mind like no other performer shares. In closing I look forward to many more songs from you.

A fan:

The guy from Three Word Slogan

P.S.

Renaming a vehicle

I've never renamed a vehicle. I think most of my vehicles have had names or at least nouns associated with them. I had a '76 or '77 Monte Carlo that was "The Floater" due to its odd suspension that made you feel like you were kind of floating. Could have been bad shocks and tires that show metal threads, but all the same that is what I and collectively, we, called the car.


My first car didn't have a name so much as a phrase. "Have gas; Will Travel" was what it was fairly widely known as. That came from a keg party we were at in BFE (actually near Kushequa, Pennsylvania) but I digress. This story isn't about the names of cars, this story is about renaming a car.


When I started looking at Jeeps on the internet I decided if I wanted one it had to be white, green, or yellow. When building my vehicles online I like to choose the white ones because I think it gives a better picture of the car. Digressing. When the dealership called me (wtf was I thinking putting my real info on that form?) and said he had a used one that fit my profile, I told him I wasn't interested in used, I'd wait for a new one. Sorry, I'm in a tangentianal mood this evening. Getting to the point, I bought a new white jeep wrangler unlimited. I decided to call it Daisy because I have a little bit of redneck in me.

Daisy never seemed to fit, since I never referred to the vehicle in conversation in that manner. I didn't have any other names picked out so it just stuck.

Tonight the wife was having a hard day and just needed some quiet time so I asked the kids if they wanted to go outside and play before it got dark. The oldest took me up on it but the youngest was busy with some cartoon or other. The oldest, we'll call him Thor, came out and went straight to the jeep. I've never had any problem with the kids playing in there and they know this. Thor climbs in the driver's side and the youngest, we'll call him Noah, comes to the door wanting to come out and play.

Once Noah figured out where Thor was he wanted in too. I took the keys out and put it on accessory mode so they could listen to some radio. I showed Thor how the scan button works and he let it run its course through the dial several times before they opted for the CD that was in the player. Coincidentally the cd is Kiss - Destroyer (1976). This is the year their mother was born and it contains the song God of Thunder (and rock and roll). This was originally slated to be Thor's middle name (God of Thunder and rock and roll) but the wife said she'd give me Thor if she could pick the middle name (well it was a group effort) BUT I DIGRESS!

After about an hour or a little more of silence in the house, just having to look out every now and then and listen for any car doors (we're rural enough that if there's a car door in earshot, people are looking out to see who it is... or to see what the bull is doing to the telephone pole.) Much loving silence, kids content as well... kids in a jeep, and a wife that got some peace. Well, it led to a new name for the jeep. I've even designed a logo.





I dub thee: PlayPen.