This blog has nothing to do with slogans. What would the three word slogan be for that? No Slogan Blog.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Live within your means

Having dealt with people with computer problems for many many years now taught me a valuable lesson: Live within your means. I'm not talking about monetary concerns. I'm talking about what programs and settings are turned on inside an individual computer. One of the most common complaints I hear when I get the "can you fix it" call is, "It doesn't run like it used to."


I think one of my strong suits is that I can "Bring something home" ie I think I make good analogies that people can relate to. Not in a Buddhism or Yoda kind of way, but one that simply "Makes sense."

Somebody gets a new computer, they love it. It zips zooms and flies to their expectations, like most new computers do. Within days it is loaded up with the software that the individual desires on there. We all have our favorites and it seems almost everyone has at least one "non-standard" favorite. I have several, unsurprisingly, since I deal mostly with computer programming. Nobody like paint or any of the usual graphical editors (hello? paint? gah!) So we all install our favorite image editor. I made my choice long ago on one that doesn't touch any of my file associations without asking. If I change a file association manually (as I sometimes do for animated gifs) the program doesn't give me a warning that I'm doing something potentially unsafe or whatever (at least nothing more than windows itself does.) Quicktime? It will never go on another one of my computers by my hand and my family is aware that quicktime is not to be installed on my machine. See that little Q down by your clock? You might have to click the double carat to open up that full gargantuan list of crap that starts at startup.


This is your first clue that you aren't living within your means.

1. Count the number of icons in the full list of what is commonly called (but much controversy surrounds the actual name) the system tray.

This is where you clock is and likely a little speaker icon of some fashion. I hope one of the icons down there indicates a real time virus scanner. AVG is free for personal usage and while it does a couple of things that annoy me (I don't like double-confirmation boxen) it IS free (money-wise, not source code) and works well. You may or may not have a double computer icon down there indicating your network connection status. You may have several actually: It all depends on how many network interfaces you have on your computer and how many are set to display. Some may have a red x over the computers. This indicates there is no connection on that interface and as long as you have some connection that red x can be ignored or turned off. If there are any requests I can look at how to do this and detail it.

If you have a full set of graphics drivers installed you may get some form of video icon in the system tray. If you keep a card reader or anything usb plugged in you'll see the "safely remove hardware" icon. Use this, won't you? Don't just pull your cards. Eject them first. Go to my computer, figure out which one is your card, right click and choose eject or unmount or whatever that item is. This tells windows, "Last chance, anything you want to write down on here before we go?" Do get in the habit. There's no recovering from half of a file on the camera card and half in windows memory that I know of. If you're like me you keep a lot more on a memory stick than pictures anyway.

So the rundown in your system menu: Clock, Antivirus, networking, sound, video, usb, and if absolutely necessary printer bloat.
I highly discourage printer bloat (anything that runs real time to interface with your printer/scanner/copier/faxer/toast maker. If it is necessary then so be it but if you can lose it you're much better off. Live within your means.

Now in all likelihood you have Quicktime, Bonus Miles, Yahoo, MSN Messenger, and half a dozen other items coming up down there. I've seen people with over 20 and it's almost unheard of to see less than 10. I have 5 on my windows startup at home. Networking, AVG, usb, sound, and video. Pare yours down. Uninstall the programs you don't actually use. The only suggestion I have about quicktime and itunes is to rid them of your system and live with the fact that .mov files are off limits without a lot of trouble. Get rid of weatherbug. Do it now. Uninstall. There are rss feeds for weather that do not tax your system like such items do. Same with bonus coupons and anything that claims to "give you a deal." It's a lie. Universally. Just get rid of the bloat.

Spyware is a big component of many slowdown issues I've dealt with. There's no easy answer here because of the complexity of the issue. Some people want complete and utter privacy until they realize that to obtain that they must not store their usernames and passwords anywhere and must log into each website on each visit. "Hmmm, that's not for me," says just about everyone. But there's a middle ground. It requires the user to think and to make a decision based on trust. For example, when you go to windows update it might ask if you want to install some software. There might be a box that says "Always trust content from Microsoft." Always is forever. It isn't forever yet so I'm not going to commit to trusting them all the time. And I feel the same way about almost everything else. Personally I give more faith to an open source software effort than any commercial venture. I trust mozilla and its products, but not always and forever. I don't commit to that. You shouldn't either if you want to keep tabs on who is doing what. If you are "Starting from zero got nothing to lose" (Tracy Chapman, ~1989) then your best bet is to get a reputable spyware scanner and let it start by cleaning everything out. BE WARNED: You will likely need to know your username and password on most of the websites you visit, if not all. This is the biggest, hardest part of the process but a necessary step. This won't take "A couple minutes." This is the beginning of a lifelong process. You are about to become aware that when you allow something on your computer you are allowing it into your home. Even if you're "okay" with something being able to access personal information is it within your computing means?

Computer hardware is what it is. It evolves fairly quickly but not by leaps and bounds. It seems to be more of a migratory process than anything revolutionary. We're all, for the most part, living on modest machines around an average of what I'll guess to be 2 gigahertz. My laptop is only 1 and my desktop is only about 1.6 but I think for the most part I'm on the low end of the spectrum.

Software continues to evolve and grow. More programs are created every day to help us be more productive, interest our minds, and to do whatever it is we do with computers. We want more. But is it within our means? Do we have the processor required, the hard drive space available, and are willing to fight with it in the event that it does something we don't like (for example, installs a secondary application that you do not desire or installs the Yahoo toolbar, dirge of the internet.) This is part of the process of keeping a clean system.

So go have a poke around in your add/remove programs. Get crazy with it. In addition, removing Microsoft Office does NOT remove your documents. And Openoffice is so much better and free-er (like thought and beer.)

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Dear bestofjoomla fireboards

I have encountered the absolute worst instructions on the planet and they are yours. I read the instructions several months ago and saw they were farked up. It wasn't until I had a problem with Fireboard that I decided to take the plunge. I tried to log into your forums to find out wtf was going on with these instructions but luckily I wasn't able to.

I will say this much: it's worth what I paid for it.



Below are their instructions with my notes (in red) inline.


Upgrade from Fireboard 1.0.1 (Beta)

WTF IS THAT? I see a box that says F0DB or something. Double byte character says what? Backup your MySql tables and file structure as described above.

  1. Download the 1.0.4 Patch files zip file.
  2. Extract the “FireBoard_1.0.4_Stable_PatchFiles.zip” files on your local system. You will notice that it has the same structure as the files on your server
  3. Connect to your website via FTP and overwrite all the local files over the remote files. This way your server will have latest files of the stable version Keep in mind this is a total of 452 files and if you read ahead you'll find that you're going to have to move some of them. Move isn't such a big deal for me because I can log in through a terminal. I'll bet those on hosts that don't support such features or users that don't know how to use it got a bit miffed at uploading man of these no-longer-compressed files twice.
  4. Fireboard 1.0.2+ stores the common files, such as uploaded files, avatars, uploaded images,… under “Joomla_Root/images/” directory. Please make sure that your “Joomla_Root/images/” is writable. Also, you might want to CREATE that directory.
  5. Copy “components/com_fireboard/_fbfiles/” directory in the extracted package to “Joomla_Root/images/” directory and rename it to “fbfiles/” and ensure that it is writable (and also all its subdirectories). At the end you will have such a path: “Joomla_Root/images/fbfiles”. You can do this in Linux by applying the following command: Command: chmod –R 777 images/fbfiles/ Here's the one that pushed the donkey over the edge. I was told to download 1.0.4 patch files. I did. No such _fbfiles directory exists in this zip file. I downloaded the 1.0.4 stable complete package and I find only an _fbfiles_dist. Which do I use, the one that doesn't exist or the one that doesn't exist? Quite the choice you've left the end user with. I only know my images no longer work. swell.
  6. Move (old) directories and all contents of Remember when I said if you'd read ahead? “components/com_fireboard/avatars”, “components/com_fireboard/category_images”, “components/com_fireboard/uploaded/files”, “components/com_fireboard/uploaded/images” to the new “Joomla_Root/images/fbfiles”. The final structure should look like this: Yes, this is quite useful, this emptiness that says it should look like this.
  7. Open “Upgrades/Fireboard_101_to_1.0.3.Stable.sql” file. You can download it here: Fireboard_101_to_1.0.3.Stable.sql
  8. If necessary, rename all the “jos_” occurrences to your own database prefix. Hence, if your db prefix it “boj_” then you should rename all “jos_” to “boj_”.
  9. Execute the queries on your remote host; either inside phpmyadmin or your favourite database manager. If you don’t know how to do this, please read: http://community.mybboard.net/showthread.php?tid=4720 If you get any error during the execution, e.g. you had done some modifications to the database before, then you should execute the rest of the queries and not all of them. The queries are executed in the order as they are listed in the upgrade. First at the top and last at bottom.
  10. Now, head on to Fireboard Configuration and check if you have the latest version, by looking at the bottom of the page.
  11. Enter Fireboard configuration section and modify the settings to your need. See, I got this far and then something happened. I clicked save and all of a fucking sudden the root of my web site, you know public_html, is no longer readable. Ergo I get 403 forbidden on anything in my root. Hey, thanks! That made this upgrade something I'll never forget! Right about this time, about 2.5 hours into the install, I finally get the lost password request / reset password from the good folks at bestofjoomla. I use the new password to log in and guess what? I'm blocked because I didn't reply to my confirmation email. Where do I get another? Beats the living shit out of me. Not from them. I believe I'll go back to hand coding pages. I've had enough of this shit. I emailed my web host and asked them to look into what had happened with the permissions and to please reset them so I have web access again. Once that's done I'll be kicking this POS joomla and fireboard to the curb forever.
  12. Enter the control panel, and click on “Recount Categories Stats”. This will recount all the posts and update your frontend statistics. You should apply this action from time to time to ensure consistency in your forum statistics.

If you have any further questions or problems, please visit the BestofJoomla.com forums. Yeah well I'd fucking love to. Do I have to make a whole new account because I can't find the stupid email you sent at some random point, 2-6 hours after I request something? fuck it. Fireboard sucks.


Update:

My host fixed my problem. They said:

The root of the web directory was set as 770, when it should be 755. I made the needed change and all is working fine for me now. Now to make the final decision on kicking all the code to the curb and rolling my own again. Either way its a hassle.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Moss, lichens, and water erosion? Oh my.

As I often do I went for a wander at lunch time. This is the norm for me. I have a tree out on wildcat cove I like to visit. I enjoy spending time down by the calf-killer river. I like to think about how many canoes have travelled that waterway. Someday I hope to get a canoe and ride a few miles on it. Today's journey was up towards Sunset Rock on Bon Aire mountain. I don't have a name for this route that I take that spans from the country club to some church to the bon aire highway but there I was tooling along at a brisk 10-15 miles per hour looking into the forest. There's no missing the rocks and boulders on this mountain and maybe it was due to everything being dead for winter or my eye just caught it right but I noticed many of the rocks and boulders on this mountain have very very obvious and very very pronounced erosion. It very much looks like these boulders have lived their lives in a tumultuous pool that can be envisioned on the shores of some harsh island with waves not lapping but attacking the land. I actually pulled over and decided to get a closer look. Perhaps my eyes were deceiving me. I walked around to several of them noting that there is moss and lichen on almost all rocks indicating they have been where they are for a very long time. At least this is what it indicates to my very simplistic understanding of all things geology. It doesn't make sense though. Here is an area that is about 350 meters above sea level with no water passing over the top of it other than possibly rainwater. These rocks have been here for hundreds of year (by my own reckoning, mind you) and they are waterworn. How odd is that.

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Boys that play with cars

It likely won't come as any surprise to loyal fans that your humble narrator is and always has been a boy that plays with cars. On one of my favorite web forums they mentioned Stompers in passing. I knew they wouldn't want to hear me whine and pine over the fun I had with them so I dropped in here with you.

I think I was about 9 when they came out, or at least when I became aware of them. I lived on a muddy hillside; A perfect spot for such a rough and tumble machine. I recall marvelling at what I thought was complexity. I did pine for an active suspension but was placated by the dual sets of tires (medium density foam or hard plastic.) I recall setting up dozens of scenarios where the stomper would attempt to make it through a gully and then maybe over a bridge without falling in to the sudden death below.

In a way we never grow up. Or maybe it is that some of the things we start in childhood never end. Perhaps its that I haven't lost all of my boyhood wonder yet. I still love cars in some odd esoteric way. I have a fascination with all of the mechanics of them and how some have different ways of accomplishing similar goals. My own daily driver vehicle was purchased because it was one I think most little boys are fascinated with at some point, a Jeep. It's kind of "just like" an old CJ, only it does have padding in the seats and there's a few more inches tacked in there. There is no denying I purchased it more for the toy value than the getting groceries part. Sure, any other car would have sufficed my mechanical desires but the jeep allows one to open the hood and see everything. Open a minivan's hood. Not much to see. I can crawl under my jeep and lay in comfort while pondering what made that ding on my rear differential case. I have done this. I find it enjoyable. If I won the lottery and had nothing else to do I would certainly do this at least every couple of days (but likely I'd be looking under different cars most days.)

My eldest is now in 2nd grade and they were offered the opportunity to participate in the elementary school's science fair. They are not obligated to do a project but extra credit is granted for those that do. We all decided it would be fun to do one so we set upon the task of choosing a topic. The school had sent home a list of suggestions but those seemed so drab. We found a website on the topic and read through their offerings. None of them really grabbed his attention. He was stuck on one that made the wife and I cackle the first time we heard it:
How fast does a go-kart go?

With the knowing look we both realized: It has started.

Not having a go-kart at my disposal I suggested we could see how fast my radio controlled truck would go. This pleased him.

Plan A:
Saturday morning. Arrived at middle school parking lot to find not a car in sight. Set start line and began measuring until we had one tenth of a mile. Set markers at turns and had it ready to go. Fueled the radio controlled truck, started, warming up. Had it up to temperature and was warming the tires with some high speed runs to practice the course. Curb.

Parts run. $40.

The next day I had it back up and running again with the new parts. This was a broken lower A arm in case you're following along. I decided instead of just replacing that one I'd replace the upper and lowers on the front suspension with some better ones.

Plan B:
Since there are no curbs around my house and only traffic to worry about I decided I would measure out an area in front of my house to measure the speed. I did this Sunday and when all was set we brought the whole family out to participate in the activities. I drove the truck (It's a Tmaxx made by Traxxas in case you care,) the wife managed the stopwatch, eldest was the starter and data recorder. and little bit was a stark raving mad fan.

We managed to get 4 good runs before we ran it out of fuel and susequently decided to call it a day. We had our data and eldest and I sat at the computer with Open Office's Calc and set up a spreadsheet to calculate our miles per hour. Within moments we had our results and eldest felt it was a job well done. This was when the reality of it was only the beginning of the work was explained to him. Through much drudging we've put together a smashing presentation and even though some of it wasn't to his liking, adding in a radio controlled real-engine powered truck that eats gas and screams like a banshee, well that made it a little bit better.

As it turned out, somewhere in that long line of testings and whatnot, several other parts broke and I spent today disassembling it, cleaning it, and reassembling with non-broken parts. In the end I even found all of the screws. It was pretty hairy there for a while. :) And now I present you with a view of the truck in question, another of my horrible little boy toys. :)



Friday, March 07, 2008

Taste has volume.

Taste has volume. This occurred to me whilst eating two pieces of lemon & pomegranate gum the other day. You see, aside from its odd sounding ingredients, it's quite tasty. I had a piece the day before and found it to be "A frothy mixture of fun and youth" although others may refer to it as "Pond Scum."

Back to the present: It occurred to me to try the recommended serving: two pieces. Thusly I chose and consumed two pieces.

This gum has a candy shellac over the gum and is in something of an engorged button shape. At first it is a bit crunchy and then becomes sort of crumbly in your mouth. At the point that you're sure you're about to swallow what is left of the crumbs they congeal into the gum that we all know and love; Proper texture and all.

As you might have guessed this gum has a particular flavor. It doesn't "muck in" well on the sports field. It was after my gum had come to the full gummy state that I realized the flavor was .... well, louder. It was brighter, it had more to it than a single piece alone.

This made me realize that the senses are in fact quite peculiar and under-appreciated. Now it seems taste has volume. I thought that was reserved for the ears but I was incorrect. It is a shared trait and always has been. Ever put 2 hot balls in your mouth at once? Well I was a little boy once so I did. The volume was unbearable.

It also seems to me that taste has something of a 3 dimensional quality. I'm having trouble understanding it enough to put into words so luckily this part of the post will sound just like the rest and you, my beloved reader, will never know. Oh wait! Moving on; I can't, right off, think of a one dimensional taste so I think they all have multiple dimensions. Not sure how many or what they are. Come to think of it they are everywhere too. Some foods burn the tip of your tongue while others burn more on the sides or rear. Some things aren't hot until they're well in your gullet and suddenly you have heat coming out of your ears and sweat rolling from your brow. Hot isn't the only general flavor that is effected I think. Salty can do the same. Regular salt on regular food, no big deal; Tastes like salt. Add too much soy to an already salty chinese stir fry and its a salt that consumes the senses with explosions of salt flavor throughout much more of your tasting apparatus. Sweet & Sour same way.

I believe there would be a limit as well. Curiously strong mints. Altoids. These are the volume leaders that I have encountered (with the only contender being whatever gum my brother chews) and I have found that multiple altoids at once produce very little in the way of increasing volume because it seems some magical ceiling has been reached.


I will continue my studies and report my findings. Unless you've already completed that part?